Too old to wear knee socks to school?

[Guest]

My 14 year old daughter’s friend has very strict parents who still insist she wears white knee socks to school. Most girls in her year wear tights. Year 7 & 8 girls sometimes wear knee socks but the majority of them wear tights. The girls gets teased a bit for still wearing socks.

She usually wears skirts and dresses at the weekend as well as apparently is not allowed to wear jeans. I have met her mother a few times and she comes across as quite dominant and her daugher is quite the opposite.

Should I say anything to the mother or keep my mouth shut. Just wondered if anyone else has come across this?

[Verve]

Keep your mouth shut and raise your own kid you gave life to.

Some parents aim to keep there children looking like children. I'm sure that her age is not mistaken for being older. Not sure if stockings can do that but it's like still styling you child's hair in pigtails. They possibly want there child to dress like one. Not a teenager. Actually knee high stockings is a fashion statement, shouldn't be a problem.

[Guest]

Girls of 14 (and older) are certainly not too old to be made to wear socks.

[Impartial]

When you’re young and growing up being different from your peers can be quite an issue, especially if one feels at a disadvantage, this must be what you and your daughter think about this girl. It cannot be easy if all the other girls are wearing tights, and this girl who is obviously reserved is getting teased about still wearing socks.

I know there are schools in places like north west England where it is the normal practice for girls of secondary school age to be still wearing socks, but if her school is like the local schools close to where I live you would not normally see girls of secondary school age in white knee socks, and I would imagine a girl being made to wear socks in that instance would feel embarrassed.

This introverted girl probably doesn’t have many friends so having a word with the girl’s mother could be counter productive and mean your daughter is discouraged from seeing her. Looking from the mother’s prospective she probably sees many teenage girls getting into adult situations they aren’t yet ready for and is therefore treating her as a child in order to protecting her daughter from that. You will probably find the mother is saving quite a bit of money by keeping her in socks as opposed to tights.

From your post it would appear she will be starting year 10 in September, having just broken up, which would mean she will a key stage 4 student. That may be the point the girl’s mother decides she’s old enough to wear tights (some schools don’t allow tights before girl’s reach this age). If she returns to school in September still wearing socks the danger is she could become a target for more serious bullying, as opposed to teasing from other girls, and that she grows up lacking even more in self confidence.

Finally, this girl’s situation is not unique. On my way in to work I pass close to a school where the majority of girls wear trousers and those in skirts wear tights. There is one girl (of Chinese origin) who always wears a skirt and white knee socks. She too, would appear to have a shy personality with domineering parents.

[noodles]

Whilst I wish that more parents would reliquish thier control - certainly with things like this at age 14 - Im not sure there's much you can do about it. If its a mate of your daughters I daresay she can make her feel better by simply bieng a mate. Id keep away from the mother tho, you might do more harm than good.

My mum used to make me wear ridiculous things to school. I made myself feel better by slagging her off to mates, my mates listenend and sometimes joined in. Feel a bit guilty still cause it was my mum but when you constantly walk through the school gates looking like a freak of nature compared to everyone else (and the colour or length of socks will do it at that age), quite frankly I think she asked for it.

And just for the record my mum wouldn't have thanked anyone for knocking on the door to tell her she needs to have a think about her parenting (however well intentioned).

[Guest]

Some questions for “Guest”.

You don’t say how the girl feels about being on only girl in her year wearing socks, although both you and your daughter believe she should be now wearing tights. Has this girl ever asked her mother if she can wear tights? Also what sort of skirt does she wear? If her skirts are quite long wearing socks is probably not such an issue.

[pinkroxy]

My 14 year old daughter’s friend has very strict parents who still insist she wears white knee socks to school. Most girls in her year wear tights. Year 7 & 8 girls sometimes wear knee socks but the majority of them wear tights. The girls gets teased a bit for still wearing socks.

She usually wears skirts and dresses at the weekend as well as apparently is not allowed to wear jeans. I have met her mother a few times and she comes across as quite dominant and her daugher is quite the opposite.

Should I say anything to the mother or keep my mouth shut. Just wondered if anyone else has come across this?

This is hard because I can see where you would like to stick up for your friend and say something to her mother...

but... then again saying something to her could only make it worse unfortunately. By the sounds of it you and your friend have quite a close relationship and you saying something and confronting her mother might make her even more angrier towards you and may even ban her daughter from seeing you.

I think the best thing to do is to encourage your friend to say something to her mum about how she feels about the situation but unfortunately that is as far as you can really go Im afraid. Your friend will soon be old enough to beable to do what she wants and how she dresses but until then there isnt much control of what you can do.

I had a friend like that and she wanted to get her hair cut short but her mother will NOT let her in any way so she had to have long hair through high school even though she didnt like it. Once she turned 16 she had control over the situation and got her hair cut short and it looked really nice and she is more happier than she ever could be.

Just hang in there and keep listening to her and giving her advice but dont go against her mother as it will make matters worse.

[pinkroxy]

Oh I see its your daughter that is friends and not you.

Yeah I still agree to leave it alone as also if you say something she may get upset and might ban her daughter from seeing yours.

[Guest]

This girl’s mother deserves great credit for not giving into today’s pressures than mean just because they are teenagers they should start to look like, and start pretending to be adults. Many parents would like their children to dress as children rather than miniature adults, but give into their child’s whims or believe that because everyone else’s children are dressed in a certain manner their children must also. The girl probably isn’t particularly happy she has to remain in socks, but she understands quite rightly she must abide by her parents wishes. By wearing socks those who come into contact with her will know she is regarded as child and will therefore be treated as such. She will find that doing undesirable things like buying and smoking cigarettes are virtually impossible unlike other girls of her age who can pass as being much older.

[Impartial]

There are many schools where it is accepted practice for girls of secondary school age to wear white socks. I attach a web link to a local school to illustrate this point.

School Website


The first picture has nearly all the girls wearing socks, whereas the second picture has older girls in a mixture of socks and tights. I believe that in the second picture there are some girls who are a bit on the old side to be wearing socks, and there does come a time when tights should be worn (or no socks, if allowed, in summer). It’s a pity the 14 year old described by the originator of this thread doesn’t go to a school like this one because she could comfortably wear socks for a little while longer, without feeling inferior to her classmates.

At my old school there was an age rule regarding when socks or tights were worn. It was good because it meant parents did not worry about the extra expense of tights until they were in the fourth form, and it gave the older girls recognition of their more senior status in the school

[lashley]

Well when I went back to the forum this post was sitting there...though my youngest is a 13 year old girl, she occasionally wears knee socks to school ...by choice. But don't say a word to this woman!! Its her business and her style!! I was criticized once for dressing one of my boys in seersucker suspender shorts when he was 7 (summer day at church)...I was quietly infuriated and made sure that he was in it the next week as well...though he was not please as I recall...it is none of anyone's business!!!

[Laura_Hull]

Well when I went back to the forum this post was sitting there...though my youngest is a 13 year old girl, she occasionally wears knee socks to school ...by choice. But don't say a word to this woman!! Its her business and her style!! I was criticized once for dressing one of my boys in seersucker suspender shorts when he was 7 (summer day at church)...I was quietly infuriated and made sure that he was in it the next week as well...though he was not please as I recall...it is none of anyone's business!!!

Do you allow her to wear tights or prefer either knee socks or trousers?

I know of many parents who don't allow their daughters to wear tights for whatever reason. Sorry, just curious about this after having a discussion whilst waiting to collect my daughter.

[Guest]

I do not allow my daughter to wear tights. A skirt and socks are totally suitable for girls of school age.

[Guest]

I do not allow my daughter to wear tights. A skirt and socks are totally suitable for girls of school age.

What is wrong with a 10-11 year old girl wearing school tights? I prefer my daughter to wear tights rather than socks.

[Elenwhit]

I do not allow my daughter to wear tights. A skirt and socks are totally suitable for girls of school age.

My daughter is 15 (will be 16 in September) and still wears white socks for school - white knee socks in the winter and white ankle socks in the summer. I certainly do not think 14 or 15 is too old for a girl to be still wearing socks. I wore them for school until I was 16 and I plan to keep my daughter in them until this age. Parents have every right to decide on how their children should be dressed.